Counseling in a caring and compassionate Environment.
The counseling environment I seek to provide is one in which you are comfortable and at ease. I work with Napa Valley Counseling Center to provide a safe and inviting experience as you go into the counseling setting.
For some it may be your first counseling experience. For others you may have had counseling experiences in the past (good, bad, or indifferent). I strive to build a good rapport with all of my clients. My perspective is that you are the one "driving the car" and I am a passenger providing resources to help you through your life challenges. You are the best expert on yourself.
I enjoy working with couples. I primarily use the approach from Gottman couples counseling in my practice- I outline this approach further down the web page. I am in the Gottman Certification program which is their highest level of training before becoming fully certified. I plan to be fully certified in the coming year. I also recently trained in Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT). I am beginning to incorporate these practices into my work as well to help build better communication and more emotional connection in relationships.
Another area I enjoy working with is people recovering from trauma. I am trained in using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to help desensitize trauma. It is an approach that uses bi-lateral stimulation to help people re-process trauma experience(s) which have left a negative thought with the individual and seek to reprocess that negative thought into a positive one (what would I prefer to beleive about that situation.
Brainspotting (BSP) is another tool that can be used to address trauma recovery. rainspotting (BSP) is a talk therapy that reveals a client's unprocessed traumas through fixed eye positions. Specific eye positions each link to their own “brainspot,” an area of the mind that retains thoughts and emotions. Clients fixate on troubling brainspots to uncover hidden mental challenges.
I also use elements from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help all clients as they work through challenging events and challenging stages of life. This is an approach which deals with where our thoughts come from and how they are formed.
✅ Individual Counseling
✅Couples Counseling
✅ Anxiety
✅ Stress
✅ Better Communication
✅PTSD
✅ Depression
✅Family counseling
Couples Counseling
Why Gottman Couples Therapy?
I use Gottman couples therapy as my approach to couples counseling. This is an evidence based approach as it has been studied for effectiveness over a number of years. It is supported by extensive research and studies conducted by Dr. John Gottman, demonstrating its effectiveness in improving relationship satisfaction and communication skills through a structured and well tested methodology. You can learn and read more at this link: More about Gottman. As Gottman did his research he found that there were "master" couples which were very successful togther and felt nurtured by the relationship. There were also "disaster" couples chich failed and the relationship sucked the life out of each individual. Gottman developed what he calls the "sound relationship house"(click to learn more) to describe the areas the "master" couples were succeeding in (which led to relationship satisfaction). The idea is that as the couple engages in the elements of the sound relationship house this will lead to relationship satisfaction. As Gottman studied the "disaster" couoples he found there were four elements which really degraded and broke down relationships. Gottman calls these the 4 horsemen (click to learn more). These are criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling.
What is Gottman Couples Therapy?
Following is a brief outline of what sessions may look like with this approach. The first session is usually the couple sharing about their problems and background. They are sharing "Why are we here to get help?" They are sharing the history of the problem or challenge and why they may be at a "critical" point. The second session I usually spend about half of the session with each party individually. This is an opportunity to hear more about your background and family of origin. Many times this story contributes heavily to who you are as you come into a relationship. Also the couple does an objective online relationship assessment which measures many facets of the relationship. This isn't me guessing at what you are good or bad at in your relationship, but it is the assessment measuring your relationship based on your own responses on the assessment. This give opportunity to be able to "pinpoint" our approach in some ways as we work on teh challenges which are identified in the assessment. The third and following sessions we begin to use interventions to address the challenges which have been identified by the couple and the assessment. These are tools which we pracitce in the office setting and then the couple takes the tools home with them to seek to put them into practice at home. At least three months (or more) later the couple can re-assess and see how they are doing after a period of treatment.
Emotional Focused Therapy- What is it?
I also use Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) while treating couples to help foster safer and better communication. EFTis a type of therapy designed to help people understand and manage their emotions better, especially in their relationships. It focuses on how emotions influence behavior and how we can use emotions to create more meaningful connections with others.
In EFT, the therapist helps you identify patterns in your emotional responses and interactions, especially in close relationships like with a partner, family, or friends. The goal is to help you recognize the emotions behind these patterns and learn how to express them in healthy, constructive ways. By doing this, EFT helps you build stronger emotional bonds and improves communication, leading to healthier, more fulfilling relationships. This therapy can be particularly helpful if you’re struggling with feelings of loneliness, conflict, or emotional disconnection in relationships. Through EFT, you’ll gain better insight into your emotions and how they can guide you toward creating deeper, more supportive connections.
It is said in some surveys I have heard that couples go to couples counseling 5-7 years to late. Many times I share that statistic with a new couple that has come in for a session and they nod their heads as they hear that data. They many times even verbally share, "Oh yes, we should have been here 5 years ago. I encourage you to take the step to work on your relationship. If you have any questions feel free to send me an email mwilliams@nvcclr.org or call our office and we can set up an opportunity to have a further conversation : 501-224-0318.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that focuses on how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected, and how changing negative patterns in any of these areas can improve your overall well-being.
The main idea behind CBT is that our thoughts influence how we feel, and in turn, how we behave. For example, if you have a negative thought, like “I’m not good enough,” this might make you feel sad or anxious, which could lead to behaviors like avoiding situations or not trying new things. CBT helps you recognize these negative or unhelpful thought patterns and work on changing them.
In CBT, you'll work with a therapist to:
- Identify Negative Thoughts: Recognize the automatic, often unhelpful thoughts that come up in different situations.
- Challenge and Reframe Thoughts: Once you’re aware of these thoughts, you’ll learn to question their accuracy and replace them with more balanced, realistic thoughts.
- Practice New Behaviors: You'll also focus on changing the behaviors that might be reinforcing negative thoughts or feelings, like avoiding things that cause anxiety or withdrawing from activities you enjoy.
The goal is to give you practical tools to better manage your thoughts and reactions, leading to improvements in mood and behavior. It's typically a short-term, structured approach and is based on the idea that by changing how you think, you can feel better and act in ways that align more closely with your values and goals.
Does that sound like something that could help you?
